


Believe in Miracles

by Iansthugmuffin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Spoilers, Supernatural season 9 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iansthugmuffin/pseuds/Iansthugmuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How I think 10x01 should go. Basically i'm not okay still and needed to write this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Believe in Miracles

Castiel felt broken. Completely broken. Dean Winchester, the man he loved, THE MAN HE SAVED, was dead. His first thought was to kill Metatron but that would solve nothing. He decided to let him live in hopes of maybe somehow saving Dean, or at least getting to fix heaven to be with him. Because heaven is where he must be.  
Right?  
After he locked Metatron away he decided to go back to the bunker to be with Sam. To mourn Dean. He didn’t fly due to his failing grace, although if he was being quite honest he didn’t care anymore. When Dean died a part of himself died too. So the fact that his grace was now failing and he was dying didn’t seem to matter.

When Cas finally arrived at the bunker, he noticed that he had 5 missed calls from Sam. He figured it was probably just Sam wanting to let him know about Dean being dead. So he was very shocked when he walked into the bunker to see a very distraught Sam running over to him.  
“Cas where the hell have you been?! Dean is alive, but Cas he isn’t Dean. Something is wrong.” 

Cas quickly followed Sam into Dean’s room, to find Dean sitting on the bed smirking at them both.  
“Hello Cas. I see Sam finally got a hold of you. He seems to think there’s something wrong with me. But guys I’M FINE. I died and came back, so what? It’s not like that’s anything new.”  
Sam rolled his eyes and looked over at Cas who had still said nothing since he arrived.

Cas quickly touched his fingers to Dean’s forehead and put him to sleep. Cas was shocked. He didn’t know what was worse, seeing the man he loved dead, or seeing him as a demon. His once beautiful soul was now stained black and ugly. He felt tears slide down his cheeks. And suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder.

“Cas? Why did you do that? You okay? Why are you crying?” Cas shook his head and willed himself to stop crying. “Sam i’m so sorry.” Sam looked at him confusedly. “Cas what is it? What’s going on?” Cas placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder to brace Sam. Or maybe to brace himself, because thinking it and saying it are two completely different things.

“Sam. You’re brother,Dean, he isn’t Dean. He’s a demon Sam.” Sam shrugged Cas’ hand off his shoulder. “Wait. Do you mean he’s possessed? Because Cas if he is that’s not a big deal okay. We have done this before…” “No Sam he isn’t possessed. HE is the demon. It must be the mark. When he died it must have brought him back as a demon.” 

Sam was about to reply when they heard a shuffling behind them. “Very good halo boy.” Both Sam and Cas whipped around to see Crowley standing in the doorway. He smirked. “Hello boys.” Sam lunged at him immediately, but Cas grabbed his arm and pulled him back.  
“You did this! “ Sam shouted. “You turned him into to this! You are the one who convinced him to get the mark in the first place. Was this all a plan? Was this your end goal? Turn my brother into a demon and use him as your number one chess piece?” 

Crowley actually looked hurt for a split second, as if he couldn’t believe he was being accused of such things.  
“Sam. You know I have a particular dislike for you boys. But I assure you, I didn’t know this was going to happen.” Sam let out a hmpf noise. Crowley continued, “I mean yes, I was there when the blithering idiot decided to bear the mark. But I- believe it or not- tried to tell him not to.” Before Sam could argue, Cas interjected. “I believe he is telling the truth Sam.” 

Crowley smiled at Cas. “Thank you, Castiel.” “Although, I must admit I figured this would happen if he died. You see Cain tried to take his own life, because he - like Dean- could not stand what and who he was becoming.” He took a breath before continuing. “Cain stabbed himself with the first blade and he was dead. He was stone cold I imagine. But then a miracle happened. Well if you want to call it a miracle. The mark held on though, it wasn’t going to let him go. He became a demon.”

Sam rubbed his face with his hand. “So what you are eventually getting at is my brother is only alive because of that, THING? So it is either he dies or he is a demon?” Crowley went over and looked down at Dean. “Samantha, there was never a choice. As long as he still has that mark it will NEVER let him go. No matter how many times he kills himself or dies, he will always come back. Black eyes and all.” 

Cas didn’t know what to think. Was there any hope now at all? Sure Dean could never die, but the cost! He looked over at Sam and could tell he was thinking the same thoughts.  
“Crowley what the hell do we do?” Crowley sighed. “Well moose i’m afraid there is very little you can do at this point. If we were to remove the mark, which is a whole nother task on its own, Dean would die.” “But if we leave it, he will live forever but be bound as a demon. Which, I will have you know, is not that bad. I would even allow him to be my right hand man.” 

Sam looked at Cas and Crowley, “well I know one thing. Dean would have never wanted this. NEVER. Becoming a monster is all he ever avoided and now that is exactly what he is. I love him and I will miss him but I have to let him go.” 

Cas knew where Sam was coming from. But he couldn’t let Dean go. Dean never once let him or Sam go that easily, and he wasn’t going to let the man he loved die.  
“There has to be another way.” It took him a moment to realize he had spoken those words out loud and not thought them in his head. Sam turned to Cas. “Cas, look man. I know how much Dean means to you, and how much you mean to him. I’ve known for awhile. But sometimes you have to let the person you love the most go.”

Cas shook his head. “No, I refuse to just give up. Dean wouldn’t give up on either of us, so we shouldn’t give up on him.” “Cas, this isn’t us giving up on him. This is doing the right thing. And sometimes doing the right thing doesn't’ feel good, and sometimes it breaks your heart and leaves you feeling destroyed. But it’s still the right thing.”

“Oh would you two stop bickering politely at each other? I feel like i’m watching bad tv.” Both Cas and Sam had forgotten Crowley was even in the room.  
Cas and Sam both looked at Crowley expectantly.  
“ It seems we have come to an impasse. Sam wants his brother to die, Cas wants his lover to live.” Cas blushed at Crowley’s use of the word ‘lover’. 

“So while you two were standing there bickering like an old married couple, I had a thought. Or rather I FELT. I felt sadness, I can’t stand this humanity pumping through my veins. And yet I can’t get enough.” “So then I thought to myself, self, what if moose were to give squirrel some of his blood.”

Cas quickly interjected. “No. If he does he will die, it would be the same as him completing the trials. Then Sam would die.” Sam looked at Cas warmly. “But,” Cas continued, “I could do it.” Crowley laughed. “Castiel, you are an angel. Angel is not human. Angel blood would not help him.” Cas shook his head. He knew his grace was going and he would rather be with Dean and not be an angel than to be an angel and be without Dean.

“My grace. It’s burning out, and killing me in the process.” He sighed. “If I rip it out, I will be human. I could save Dean.” Sam shook his head. “Cas no! You hated being human, and if you lose your grace won’t you die completely?” Cas looked down at Dean, and was convinced he must do this. “No. I didn’t hate being human. I hated being away from you and Dean, being helpless. I didn’t mind being human, I enjoyed it even.” “And as for me dying, my grace is what is killing me. If I were to rip it out yes it would hurt, but it would also save my life. As well as possibly saving Dean’s” 

Sam looked at Crowley for help in talking Cas down, but Crowley seemed to agree with Cas. “Sorry moose, but Halo boy has a point. And it might just save your brother.”  
Sam looked at Cas, and the way he was looking at Dean. Wow he really loves him. “Fine. We can try it, but I don’t want to lose you too Cas. I can’t.” Cas smiled at Sam, “you won’t, I promise.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Cas sat down on the bed next to Dean. Sam had gone back out of the room and Crowley had left for now.  
Cas gently stroked Dean’s bloodstained face. “You know, when I saved you from hell all those years ago, I never expected this. For you to save me too. Dean without you I wouldn’t be here. And I love you, I don’t know when or why, but I do. When I see you my heart flutters and I can’t breathe. I need you to be okay. I need you to come back to me. Please Dean.” Cas gently kissed his cheek, feeling his stubble rub against him. He felt tears roll down his own cheeks. He couldn’t lose Dean. Not when he had finally truly realized he needed him.

Finally Cas sat up. He looked at all Dean’s cuts and bruises. He had a little grace left, surely it was enough to heal Dean of his external wounds. He closed his eyes and focused on healing him. He felt himself weaken even more, but seeing Dean healed made it worth it. Now he simply looked like he was sleeping, which he was.  
Now Cas had to cut out his grace. He knew what it would feel like, but this time he didn’t care about it. He wasn’t sad. He was going to have Dean back, it was worth it. So he closed his eyes and cut.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sam heard Cas scream in pain and came running into Dean’s room to find Cas with a bloody knife and a bleeding stomach. “Cas!” Sam ran over and helped Cas in to the nearby chair. He quickly left the room for bandages to clean Cas up.  
Cas looked over at Dean and smiled. He did it, he fell for Dean and in so many ways. The familiar feeling of being human filled his veins but it was almost a relief. No more leading angels, he was free.

Once Sam had patched Cas up and given him pain killers, Cas began to cut his arm. “Whoa Cas! Not yet, you should let yourself rest.” Cas looked at Sam and shook his head. “No Sam, I can’t rest until I know that he is becoming Dean again. I can’t”  
Sam swallowed harshly, but nodded. He handed Cas a syringe. “Fine. But you’ll need this.”

Cas gingerly took the syringe and stabbed his arm, letting it suck up his blood. He then knelt down next to Dean and inserted the blood right above the awful mark.  
Almost as soon as the blood was in his veins, Dean started to wake up. “Cas what the hell?” Cas smiled. “Shh… just relax. I’m bringing you back.”  
Sam smiled at them. Dean didn’t know how much Cas loved him yet, but he had a feeling that when he was himself again. Cas would finally tell him.  
Sam grabbed the vial which contained Cas’ glowing grace and quietly left the room.

Once Sam had left Cas sat down next to Dean. “It’s going to be okay Dean. “ Dean gulped “What’s going to be okay?” “Dean you aren’t yourself right now. But don’t worry, I love you and i’m going to save you. Again.

Dean surprisingly didn’t put up much of a fight while Cas would insert his blood. He seemed calm. Almost as if the real Dean somewhere inside, knew what was happening. And was in control.

Cas followed the same schedule Sam had with Crowley. Inserting his blood. Slowly he watched his hunter become more and more human until he knew he was almost there. 

“Cas.” His rough voice came out so weak. Cas knelt down next to him. “Yes Dean?” “Buddy, why are you doing this? Why not let me go?” Cas wanted to cry. Dean truly did not know how much he meant to the people around him. He gulped down the tears though. “Dean I… I couldn’t. Not when I love you as much as I do.” He looked up and saw a small smile on Dean’s face and Dean said the words Cas had been longing to hear for years. “Cas, I love you too…”  
Then his eyes drooped shut and he was lulled back to sleep.

Finally Cas inserted the last dose of blood into Dean. Dean was still asleep so he didn’t know. But Cas knew he was human, knew he was HIS Dean again. Just by looking at his face.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sam looked up when Cas came back into the main part of the bunker. “Cas how is he? How are YOU?” Cas smiled at Sam. “He’s human again Sam, we did it!” Sam smiled back. “No man, you did it.”  
Cas walked over and hugged Sam because he knew this was one of those times humans hug. Sam chuckled “hey how about some tacos to celebrate? Then maybe he’ll wake up.” “Yes i’d like that a lot.”

Sam and Cas were sitting down watching some Harry Potter so Cas could actually understand the references he now knew. They were both discussing what was happening when a familiar rough voice came from behind them.  
“Looks like I missed all the fun.” Cas’ whole face lit up. “Dean!” He was about to run over and hug him, but he realized Dean probably didn’t remember what had happened. Or the ‘I love you’s’ that happened between them. Sam looked at Cas and nudged him with his shoulder. Cas had to be brave, and finally tell him. 

So he got up and walked over to Dean to hug him, but was very surprised when he instead felt warm soft lips on his own. “Cas, you didn’t think i’d forgotten did you?” Cas smiled against Dean’s lips. “I had hoped not.” They kissed again, and Cas couldn’t get enough. I was like he could finally relax, finally breathe. He was truly happy. A groan from behind them interrupted their kissing.

“Look guys I know you are in love or whatever but keep it pg? Please. I don’t want to be scarred.” Then all three of them laughed, before Cas and Dean sat together on the couch. Their hands were entwined and they kept sneaking in kisses whenever Sam wasn’t looking. 

“So I was a Demon huh?” Sam and Cas nodded. “I’m sorry Dean but this mark has to go.” Cas said. Dean nodded “Well clearly. But let’s wait until tomorrow huh? Because i’m pretty happy right now.” Cas smiled and place a light kiss on his lips.  
“For you Dean winchester, I would wait forever.”

\-------------------------------------------------END---------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Last night's episode was horribly painful. So I hope this made you feel better. <33


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